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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You film image; close on crying woman lying on sand

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

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A missing patient. A demonic hamster. A cosmic hole in the bedroom ceiling. For Linda (Rose Byrne), life is a series of surreal catastrophes pointing to her failure as a working mother, and even her therapist (Conan O’Brien) is getting sick of her. Displaced in a purgatorial motel while her husband (Christian Slater) is away on business, Linda turns to weed, white wine, and holotropic breathing to cope with the bottomless void of need that is her daughter’s mysterious illness.

Shot on 35mm film, this darkly humorous psychological drama from writer-director-actor Mary Bronstein (Yeast) immerses us in Linda’s unraveling mental state as her heightened world collapses on itself. Drenched in anxiety and desperate fury, Rose Byrne’s top-notch performance is complemented by impeccable comedic timing from editor Lucian Johnston (Midsommar). Through extreme close-ups, a nerve-wracking soundscape, eerie ambient lighting, and visceral practical effects, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You reflects the frantic perspective of a mother at the end of her rope.

 

Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance (Rose Byrne), Berlinale 2025

Director
Cast

Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald

Credits
Country of Origin

USA

Year

2025

Language

English

Film Contact
18+

At International Village

19+

At The Rio

113 min
Award Winners Drama Family Relations Women Directors
A24

Book Tickets

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Credits & Director

Executive Producer

Mary Bronstein, Rose Byrne

Producer

Sara Murphy, Ryan Zacarias, Ronald Bronstein, Josh Safdie, Eli Bush, Conor Hannon, Richie Doyle

Screenwriter

Mary Bronstein

Cinematography

Christopher Messina

Editor

Lucian Johnston

Production Design

Carmen Navis

Mary Bronstein headshot

Mary Bronstein

Mary Bronstein is a writer-director based in New York City who is known for her raw style, auteurist approach, and focus on stories about complicated women. Her best-known work is the cult-classic Yeast (2008), and Mary recently completed her second feature, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, with A24. In addition to her film work, she’s written original feminist theory for several academic publishers.

Filmography: Yeast (2008)

Photo by Issey Goold

 

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